Thursday, 5 April 2012

I just watched One Born Every Minute (Episode 14 of the 3rd series - I've watched each and every single one) and for once didn't cry.  This is pretty impressive for me because I usually sob, sometimes uncontrollably, in happiness for people I don't know who have just grunted, groaned and screamed on tv for an hour - what can I say, I'm easily pleased! 

I often wonder if I should go into midwifery.  In a way I think it would be the perfect job for me because I love to care for people, I adore babes and I really want to be important and make a difference and to be honest what higher accolade is there than bringing new life into the world? ! On the other hand I'm scared I wouldn't cope very well with the pressure and I know that I would find it very difficult to detach myself.  I think it would break my heart to see babies being born into families that you just know aren't going to treat them right, or give them the life that they deserve, to be loved and nurtured.  And of course there are not always happy endings in delivery suites, not all babies make it and I can't think of anything worse than losing a little life.  Gosh this has got a bit sad and deep all of a sudden!! Back to midwifery as a career...obviously I'm not pursuing it at the moment - I'm doing a make up and manicure qualification which isn't really about delivering babies at all!! In my little life plan I'd like to think that I will progress from being a make up artist and a beautician, a mummy and then a midwife... so far I don't have a job, I'm not qualified in anything, I am as single as the day I was born and I have incredible debts from a degree I spent three years paying for and won't graduate from...not shaping up too well is it?! I'd like to think my dreams are not just the wishful thinking of a mad fat girl -  I really do want to be all of those things.  A mum especially.  I can't really put into words how much I want to be a mother and create my own little family.  One step at a time hey, better trap a man find a loving boyfriend first - I joke, I joke, I'm not a maniac out on the hunt for a sperm donor! I hope that one day I will feel ready to go back to university and I'd like to think one day I will be able to do a degree but until then I will carry on as I am and try to take each day as it comes and feel proud of the little things. 

Anyway away from this rather strange jumble of words from my head and onto lighter and more fun things ... 
What I would love to be eating right now - a massive slab of chocolate cake
What I am listening to -  SailAwolnation (literally on loop)
How I've spent my day - watching Sprinkle of Glitter's so many of them. I'm meant to be doing anatomy and physiology but I'd rather watch videos on lipsticks than write about lymph - and that's a fact! 

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